Domestic Violence

< Domestic, Sexual and Gender Based Violence (DSGBV) < Domestic Violence

The Department of Justice leads the Governments response to domestic violence. This includes developing policy and legislation to tackle domestic violence as well as raising awareness of the issue through campaigns such as the ‘Still HereStill Here’ and ‘What Would You Do?What Would You Do?’ campaigns.

The term ‘domestic violence’ goes beyond actual physical violence. It can also involve the destruction of property; isolation from friends, family and other potential sources of support; threats to others including children; stalking; and control over access to money, personal items, food, transportation and the telephone.

It occurs in all social classes, all ethnic groups and among people of every educational background.

It can be described as the use of physical or emotional force or the threat of physical force, including sexual violence in close adult relationships.

Domestic violence profoundly affects the physical, emotional, social and financial wellbeing of individuals and families. It is perpetrated against a person by that person’s spouse, intimate partner, ex-partner, other family members and/or another person at home. Domestic violence is pattern of repeated abusive and controlling behaviours that occurs within an intimate or family relationship and may even continue after the relationship has ended.

The Domestic Violence Act 2018, which became law on 1 January 2019, changed how our Justice system deals with domestic violence. It recognises in law the impact that emotional abuse can have on those it is inflicted upon by the creation of the offence of Coercive Control.

Coercive Control is defined in Section 39 of the 2018 Act. It provides that a person commits an offence where he or she knowingly and persistently engages in behaviour that

(a) is controlling or coercive

(b) has a serious effect on a relevant person,

(c) a reasonable person would consider likely to have a serious effect on a relevant person.

The Act also says that the requirement of a ‘serious effect’ means behaviour that causes the person to

(a) Fear that violence will be used against him or her

or

(b) Serious alarm or distress that has a substantial adverse impact on his or her usual day-to-day activities.

To learn more about Coercive Control Click Here

Types of Domestic Violence

PHYSICAL

Physical violence/abuse is any intentional and unwanted contact with you or something close to your body. It can include:

• direct physical assault on the body

• pushing / shoving

• punching / slapping

• biting

• pulling of hair

• choking

• mutilation and maiming

• burns

• throwing of objects at a person

• use of weapons to threaten or injure

• being sexually assaulted and/or raped.

EMOTIONAL

Emotional or psychological abuse can include:

• continual put downs and/or criticism.

• humiliation

• bullying

• threatening to hurt children or themselves

• exploitation

• intimidation

• psychological degradation

• verbal aggression

• undermining of self-esteem

• name calling

• heavy monitoring of mobile phone use, texts, email and social media

• property being destroyed.

SEXUAL

Sexual violence is any form of sexual coercion (physical or emotional) or sexual degradation against an individual in the family or domestic unit. It can include:

• any sexual activity without consent

• unwanted sexual touching

• sexual assault

• rape

• incest

• rape between spouses, cohabitants, partners or ex-partners

• causing pain without consent during sex

• forced stripping of clothing

• victims being told that it is their duty to have sex with the abuser

• sexual degradation including the enforced use of pornography.

FINANCIAL

Financial abuse is a form of domestic violence in which the abuser uses money as a means of controlling their partner. It can include:

• economic blackmail

• complete control of all monies and bank accounts

• denial of financial independence

• complete control of family finances and spending

• denial of access to necessary funds

• preventing the victim from working

• taking control of bank cards and access to credit

• non-payment of child maintenance

• refusal of funds for household bills.

SOCIAL

Examples of social abuse can include:

• systematic isolation from family and friends

• forbidding or physically preventing the victim from going out and meeting people

• constant criticising of victim’s family and friends

• victims never being left on their own by perpetrator

• refusal to allow victims to work.

ONLINE

Online or digital abuse is the use of technologies such as mobile phone texting and social networking to bully, pursue, cyber-stalk or intimidate a partner. In most cases, this type of abuse is emotional and/or verbal perpetuated online. Examples include:

• sending negative, insulting or even threatening emails, Facebook messages, tweets

• online put downs on status updates

• sending unwanted and/or explicit pictures

• sharing intimate images online without consent

• tracking victim online activity, search history and cache history

• stealing or insisting on being given online passwords

• constantly checking of mobile phones for pictures, texts and calls

• unkind comments/tags on Instagram or Tumblr etc.

Whether you are currently living with domestic violence, want to leave an abusive partner or are a survivor of domestic violence there are supports available to you.

Things you should consider are:

1. Contacting a list of trusted services (Link to list of counties for services)

2. Talking to someone you trust: a friend, relative or neighbour. Remember you may need to go to them in an emergency or if you have to leave your family home.

3. Make a Safety Plan. Consider the following steps:

• Is there a relative, friend or neighbour you trust? If so, think about telling them what is going on as you may need to go to them in an emergency
• Prepare a bag for you, and any children you may have, with an extra set of house and car keys, money, a list of phone numbers you may need and a set of clothes each. Leave this bag with someone you trust
• Keep your mobile phone with you at all times. Find somewhere you can quickly and easily use a phone if you don’t have access to a mobile. This could be a public payphone, or one at a neighbour’s, friend’s or relative’s house
• Write out a list of numbers you might need in an emergency. Include friends, relatives, local police, GP, your local domestic violence service, your nearest refuge. Remember, even if you have numbers stored in your mobile you may not be able to access or use it, so copy out all numbers you might need. Keep this list with you at all times
• Keep a small amount of money with you at all times for phone calls and/or taxi, train or bus fares etc.
• If your children are old enough to understand, explain that you might have to leave in a hurry and make sure they know what to do if that happens. You could consider arranging a meeting point should you get separated from them
• Teach your children to dial 999 if there is an emergency. Make sure they know what they will need to say: name, address and telephone number.
• If you think your partner is about to attack you, try to stay out of the kitchen or garage where there may be knives and/or other weapons. Try to stay away from small rooms such as the bathroom where you may find it difficult to escape an attack
• If you are thinking about leaving your partner contact your local services.

4. Talk to your GP

5. Report the abuse to your local Garda station

6. Domestic Violence Court Orders

• You can apply to the courts for a Safety or a Barring Order
• A Safety Order bans your partner from using violent or threatening behaviour towards you, but allows your partner to continue living at home
• A Barring Order bans your partner from using violent or threatening behaviour towards you and orders your partner to leave the home
• While you wait for a Safety or Barring Order to be granted you can get a Protection Order from the courts. This is a temporary safety order which bans a person from using violent or threatening behaviour towards you. In exceptional circumstances a judge can grant an Interim Barring Order, without your abuser being present, where they believe you are at immediate risk. If your abuser breaches a Protection, Safety or Barring Order it is an offence and you should call your local Garda Station
• To get an order go to your local District Court. You do not need a solicitor to make an initial application, but the courts highly recommend you have legal representation for full hearings. Contact your local District Court to find out what day family law cases are heard
• If you would like someone to come with you, contact your local domestic violence service or your local refuge. Details are available at this [external-link https://www.stillhere.ie/support-services-available-to-you/ | Link ]
• For more information contact a family law solicitor or the Legal Aid Board on 1890 615 200 (Monday to Friday; 10am – 12.30pm & 2pm – 4pm)

7. If you are thinking of leaving your partner, here are some things to consider

• Leave when they’re not around, and if you have children take all of them with you
• Remember to take important personal documents concerning you and your children such as your passports, driving licence, marriage and birth certificates, PPS numbers, medical cards, address book, bank books, cheque books, credit cards, court orders and any other legal and financial documents
• Pack enough clothes to last you several days
• Pack any medicine you or your children might need
• Pack some of your children’s favourite toys/possessions
• Bring any personal possessions of sentimental value with you
• If you are thinking about leaving your partner contact your local domestic violence service or your local refuge for advice on how to do so safely

Before you get involved, ask yourself if it’s safe and legal to intervene. If the situation is already violent or looks like it’s escalating quickly, don’t directly intervene. Call the Gardaí on 999. The only effective bystander intervention is a non-violent one. If you try to “rescue” a victim or fight off an abuser, you’ll not only endanger yourself, but the abuser may take out their anger on the victim later. The victim could end up more isolated and less likely to seek help later on.

When it’s someone you know

As with all kinds of bystander interventions, the only way to know how to intervene is to know when to intervene.

These are some warning signs that someone you know may be experiencing abuse.

Someone experiencing abuse may seem:

• Anxious to please their partner

• Afraid of their partner, talking about their temper, possessiveness, or jealousy

• Restricted from seeing family and friends

• Limited in access to money or a car

• Depressed, anxious, or suicidal

Follow your instincts. If you’ve noticed these warning signs and expect that someone you know is being abused, don’t wait for them to approach you. Look for a private moment where you can express concern and let them know you’re there to support them.

Here are some ideas for beginning this conversation:

1. Express concern

Tell your friend that you’ve been concerned for them or that you’re worried. This is a non-judgmental approach that might make them feel comfortable about opening up. If they deny that anything is wrong, don’t push, simply communicate that you’ll be there for them if they ever want to talk.

2. Assure them that the violence is not their fault

This can be such an important thing for a victim of violence to hear. Some useful things to say might be, “No one deserves to be treated this way,” “You are not to blame,” or simply, “What’s happening is not your fault.”

3. Support, but don’t advise

This can be so hard to do, especially if the victim is someone close to you. But remember that you cannot make someone leave a relationship if they are not ready to do so. Also be aware that leaving an abusive relationship is the most dangerous time for a victim. The victim is best placed to assess the danger for themselves. Give them options and offer to help and support them along the way, but pressuring a victim to leave a relationship who does not want to may only isolate them further by making them feel like they can’t confide in you. Remember that abusive behaviour is a pattern of getting power and control over someone else. Validating a victim’s choices and encouraging them to make their own decisions can help to break the cycle of power and control.

4. Give resources

There are plenty of services in Ireland who can offer help and support to the person you are concerned about. Check out our list of services to find the one most appropriate. You can help a friend with their safety plan.

5. Keep it confidential

Assure the victim that anything that has been said will stay between the two of you. Breaking a victim’s trust after they have opened up to you may only isolate them further, and could even put them in danger.

When it’s between strangers

Before we can be ready to intervene, we first need to learn what kinds of situations might require our involvement. Unfortunately, if you’re a bystander to abuse between people you don’t know, you’ll probably have a limited amount of time to assess the situation and decide how to best intervene.

First, some warning signs that a situation might be abusive:

If the person you think is an abuser is:

• Displaying excessive jealously of their partner

• Insulting or embarrassing their partner in public

• Yelling at or trying to intimidate their partner

Or, if the person you suspect is a victim is:

• Appears afraid of their partner

• Acting submissively

• Showing physical injuries, or wearing unusual clothing as if to hide an injury (e.g, sunglasses indoors or long sleeves in summer).

Then the behaviour you’re witnessing is probably abusive. From here, you must decide the best way to intervene.

If you’ve decided that a situation requires an intervention and that you feel motivated about getting involved and are happy that it is safe to do so, try following these three Ds to evaluate the best way to intervene.

1. Distract

Creating a distraction is an indirect and non-confrontational way to intervene, and it can help keep a dangerous situation from escalating. You can try distracting either the person about to commit violence, or the potential victim. Either way, your goal is to prevent a situation from getting worse, or better yet, to buy enough time to check in with the potential victim. Examples: Ask for directions, the time, help looking for a lost item, or anything else that you think might keep them from leaving quickly. Better yet, if you can use a distraction that will get you a moment alone with the victim.

2. Delegate

Even if you don’t know the victim and the abuser, someone else in the room might. Friends of the people involved might be in a better position to get involved, and they might have a better opportunity for a sustained intervention than you. You could say to them, “Look, I’m concerned about that person. Their partner seems really angry. Would you be able to check in on the situation now or later?” Or, if you don’t feel comfortable intervening but it doesn’t seem like the situation calls for Garda involvement, look for someone else who might be in a better position to get involved. If you’re at a bar, look for the bouncer or someone in a similar role and point out what’s happening.

3. Direct

In a direct approach you either approach the potential victim or potential abuser and intervene. The problem with directly approaching an abuser is that they may attack you and they might end up taking it out on their partner later. If you’re going to have any direct contact with a possible abuser it’s probably best to be subtler, like using body language to communicate disapproval and make your presence and concern known. You could do this just by watching the situation and making it obvious that you’re keeping an eye on the situation.

If you’re going to try a direct approach, your best bet will probably be to approach the victim. You can simply say, “I’m concerned about what just happened. Is anything wrong?” Or, if you only have an instant and there’s no opportunity for even a brief conversation, you could say, “No one deserves to be treated like that,” or, “That wasn’t your fault.” Don’t try to give advice or judge or blame the victim for what’s just happened. Use the opportunity to say that you’re concerned, that you want to help, and that it’s not their fault.

If you recognise that your behaviour or the behaviour of someone you know is harming a partner or the family, or have concerns about your behaviour in your domestic or intimate relationships, there are a number of organisations that can support you to help stop the violent or abusive behaviour. These include the following:

• MOVE (Men overcoming violence)MOVE (Men overcoming violence)

• Men's development networkMEND (Men ending domestic abuse) and

• NEDVIP (North East Domestic Violence Intervention Programme).

The Department of Justice is currently working with these organisations in rolling out the Choices Programme, a uniform national domestic abuse intervention programme for men.

This programme is a group work intervention to support and challenge men engaged in domestic abuse to change their abusive behaviour and attitudes towards their partners, while maintaining and supporting the safety and well-being of women and children as paramount. It also assists the men concerned to develop the necessary skills to live non-abusively. Individual sessions supplement the group work and occur at the beginning, during and after the programme.

A key feature of the programme is that it also incorporates a separate partner support service that offers one to one support to the partners or ex partners of the men on the group programme. A further feature that is under development is the introduction of group work programmes with these partners.

Available services are listed at this Link

This information is for young people who are concerned about domestic abuse. It may be something that is happening in your life, or to someone that you know and care about. Or maybe it is something you want to understand better.

Domestic abuse can affect anyone. Many young people grow up seeing a parent being hurt or living in fear and may be victims themselves. It doesn’t just happen at home. Domestic abuse also includes abuse by other relatives, boyfriends, girlfriends or ex-partners. If it is happening in your life, it probably means you are living with a lot of stress, fear, anger, sadness or guilt. Please remember the abuse is not your fault and you are not responsible for making the abuse stop.

You should not have to experience or witness domestic abuse. Talk to someone you trust about the abuse to let them know what is happening and to help you get help and support for you and your family.

For detailed information on how to help you to understand more about what domestic abuse is, the signs, tips to keep you safe and how to get help and support follow this Link

Adapted from: Barnardos

Helplines for under 18

In an emergency – dial 999 or 112

• Childline freephone – 1800666666, Free Text 50101 or chat online at www.childline.ie
• Teenline freephone – 1800833634
• CARI Care Line 0818 924567

The CARI Care Line is the first point of contact and support for any person or professional who has concerns about or is affected by child sexual abuse or sexualised behaviour.

The Care Line is open from: Monday – Friday 9.00am – 5.00pm. Website